Regarding the earlier post - The Stay-At-Home Mom Degree:
I feel like I didn't really explain myself very well. I hope I didn't sound whiney or that I didn't value getting an education or that I feel down about this particular issue. There are a lot of things (financially - beyond being frugal and budgeting) people can do even if they are a stay-at-home parent. I felt throughout my life that my desire to be a mom was swept aside and ignored rather than embraced.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
A mom!
No, really.
How awesome would it have been if my guidance counselor gave me a list of occupations that would be conducive to staying at home. I think of my friend who is an accountant and is able to keep her foot in the door by working from home. How come no one told me that was an option? Or how about the friend that is an awesome hair stylist and is able to work from home, when she wants - if she wants. There are so many occupations like that! I wish there were a list of all those occupations and skills that, when times get tough, you can fall back on to MAKE SOME MOOLAH! I love that I have some education in criminal justice, and there are qualities of that education that have made me a better person . . . but I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the ability to make some money. Right now my criminal justice education isn't making me squat. That's not to say that it's not valuable to have or that I'd trade it - I just wish for SOMETHING that brought a little cash flow in for when times get tough. I am so not crafty - so I can't make awesome shirts to sell, my cooking isn't worth writing home about, let alone selling, I can't cut hair, I can't fix my car, I can't fix your car. I know it's not a talent contest and that I have other attributes and talents. But, I can't make money off of those talents. I have been told that I'm a good listener - anyone wanna chat while I charge you $25.00 an hour? And that's just the beginning rate.
I don't expect or want to get paid for doing my motherly duties. I love staying home! It's what I always wanted to do. And I have found a lot of relief these past few days realizing that I actually did achieve what I always wanted to be!
I know I have gained many skills during my lifetime, including formal education, that have prepared me to do what I am doing and has made me a better mom and wife. If I could go back in time, I would have worked so much harder and would have finished. One day I will.
BUT, knowing that I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, I wish I had figured out a career or set of skills that would compliment my staying home in order to bring in a little bit of side money from time to time. Haircutting is a great example. I AM NOT SAYING I WOULD FORGO THE FORMAL EDUCATION - this would be in addition to getting my degree. Perhaps I should call it a "minor" to your "major." That you would get your major degree and then minor in hair cutting or car repair.
I don't want to seem like I'm ungrateful for all that I have and all that I have learned. And I don't want to trivialize the vital importance of getting your education. Getting your education should be a top priority. BUT, personally, I would have liked a little "heads up" that along with my degree I might benefit from learning something that was complimentary to being a stay at home mom - whether it be learning how to cut hair or going into a field that allows you the flexibility to work from home from time to time or an occupation that didn't require full-time - instead you could come in once or twice a week - to keep your foot in the door for when the time comes that you could work full-time, if you chose.
So, I guess what I was trying to say with this post merely, "I wish I had some money making skills. I know I have many other important and wonderful skills and for those I am truly grateful - and so are my children and husband. Those skills don't have a price tag. I wouldn't trade those skills and experiences for anything. I know the importance of being a stay-at-home-mother. But, I also would like to make some money."
The Degree would take into account the fact that ultimately I want to be a stay-at-home mom and would address the fact that sometimes things get financially tough and a degree in criminal justice isn't going to help me out financially if I plan on staying home BUT here are some skills (haircutting) that I could use WHILE STILL STAYING AT HOME and still bring in some money. And perhaps that degree in criminal justice will get some good use once the kids are grown.
I 100% encourage anyone to get a full degree, if possible, when they can - and to make it a top priority. I think it is so important to have - that if you were in the situation where you had to get back into the workforce that employers look favorably on someone having a degree in something - anything.
So, I hope anyone wasn't offended by my posts or that I made it sound like the degree and the experience behind the degree was anything less than awesome. I also hope I didn't make it sound like I am struggling with being a stay-at-home mom. I'm not. I love it. This is where I want to be. I am very aware of my value and the value of my experiences and learning as it pertains to my family.
I just wish I could make some money.
6 years ago
4 comments:
I understand your point completely. You should read "I am a Mother." I don't usually read churchy, self-help books but that book made me so proud to be a mom. In fact, I need to reread it!
I have a thought that anyone can stay at home and still make money. I don't really have the answer for that. . . but with the internet, ebay, etsy and so many other crazy things the stay-at-home mom is no longer so isolated. There's got to be something out there for you to "make your moolah." I'm going to find it!!!
I am so grateful for my degree and would never trade it. I see the value, like you said. Even thought the world would look at me and think I'm "wasting" it. I have a teaching degree and for several years I tutored. It was so rewarding. I could set up my own schedule. I loved it. I stopped after Sophie was born but I would love to do it again. Actually, what I really want to do. . . I tutored a few high school students to get ready to take their ACT/SAT tests. I would LOVE to teach a course on evening/Saturdays just a couple times a year to prep kids for those tests. Weird, I know!!!
That's EXACTLY what I'm talking about - finding ways to use your degree now or to have other skills up your sleeve to make ends meet.
Seriously . . . I have no money making talents.
I want to apologize, Roccy, if my big long "rant" on the last post seemed like I was counteracting everything you had expressed. I hope I didn't accuse you of being ungrateful or anything of the sort. I wasn't thinking that!!! I realize that I kinda went off on a tangent (slightly different from what you were saying, but still slightly related to the topic in general.) Sorry for the side-tracking! I did/do see your point and fully agree. When times are tough ($$) feeling torn between making some money and still being "home" seems like an impossible battle.
For the record, just like when we talk about talents given to individuals, some of them are very visible (something you could perform in a talent show) and many more are quiet, hidden, non-tangible things that are no less important. Your "money making" talents might be hidden deep and not-so-obvious. But keep thinking, keep searching, if you want it bad enough you will find your niche!
You know if it wasn't almost 11pm I wouls march on over, sit myself on your couch and take a good hour to share my feelings on this with you. But I'm glad it's too late, other wise I'd have to pay you to listen to me. You know, now that you mention it, I probably owe you LOTS of money. Cause I'm sure you charge extra to listen to whiners, especially when they start to cry.
So anyway, here are some of my thoughts.
Second to my love for black and white, subjective knowledge, I picked my major because I knew I'd have opportunities to work from home. I've shared with you before how looking back I really think I was guided in that direction. It has been a huge, huge blessing. At the same time, it's also caused me a little sadness and guilt.
Although I feel passionately about eduction, I feel more strongly about how others view stay-at-home-moms and the importance of raising our own children. I remember in one of my classes at ASU we were asked what we want to be when we grow up. I said, a mom. I've realized that so often my attitude towards it reflects off those I share it with. When I am vocal and open about my attitude towards this with friends, clients, whatever, they seem to respect it. However, if I try to avoid telling people things, I've noticed I feel more embarassed by it. I've been trying to be better about this because there is obviously no reason I should try to hide my desire to spend more time with Clara. And when I really think about it, it's like who are they to make me feel bad for wanting to spend more time with my daughter?
PS I have a way you can make money. I promise. I'll tell you the secret next time I see you.
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